Sheople

Why are people so drawn to everyday things? Well... Most people.

I'm sitting here in a local bar on my own. I observe them. They all look similar. Same clothes, matching haircuts, plastic smiles and an Iphone. I'm guessing that I'd be the only one out of place here if I wasn't a regular...

I feel alienated in this world far too often. Making contact seems harder every single day. Past experiences made me resent people. Why can't they be real? If I ask how you're doing don't say fine unless you mean it.

I've been raised with morals and manners. Something I praise my parents for. But when do I stop saying "hello" to people? Why do I get a weird stare or no reply or interaction most of the time? Is it because I deviate from their ridiculous norm of how a person should look and behave?

For instance; There's a man who I meet on the regular. He walks his dog around town. He seems like a loner in his late 30's, early 40's. I greet him from time to time and get a reply. When I don't greet him he acts as if I'm not there. I'm the instigator here... I am in 90% of these cases. Because of my condition, making contact with strange people requires a lot of effort on my end. It's exhausting at times.

When I know you, meet you on the street and don't say "hi", then that means I truly did not notice you because I was elsewhere in my mind. I didn't ignore you, it's not in my nature.

Being generally nice to people never got me anywhere. I'm super polite at job interviews. I Don't sell myself short or over estimate. I'm fair and never lie about my abilities, yet people give me a weird vibe. If I don't feel like I should be there applying for whatever the add said, then I won't be. Yes, I'm no ordinary Joe. I don't aspire to be... I never will be.

Foory needs a little r&r... But it's hard to find in this chaos.

I can't help but feel a little left out.