People are the reason that I drink. I'm quite the misanthrope...
Everyone seemed to have screwed me over at some point, and I somehow always have the best intentions. I like to warn people for dangers, help them if I can. Maybe I'm too blind to heed their warnings but mostly I don't think I get any. I've always felt like somewhat of an alien. Like no person REALLY understood what I am about. Some come close, but coming close and really understanding is a completely different thing. I don't really expect that much from life anymore. My ideals aren't unrealistic... But somehow always out of reach. They say life is what you make it, but what if there are certain things that get in your way? Obstacles you can't overcome... Try to find some articles about people that are born for bad luck. Some people do statistically have worse luck than others. They in fact seem to attract it. I fear I am one of those people...
Sometimes I doubt realism. Have you ever wondered if everything around you is real? To me this could all be a really, really bad dream. It's funny, because some people tend to stay away from these thoughts. When you begin to bring this discussion up, they're like: "You're nuts, I've never wondered about these things!" which I think is terribly sad. The one thing a human should be on is the quest for their existence. Scientific research would be the answer to this. But what if the science of everything isn't real? What if It's just some stuff made up by the terrible organism that brought me into this "world", if that's what you'd like to call it at this point. Also, scientific research wouldn't get me anywhere, as I don't have the resources to get the things needed that would produce the desired results.
All this may sound like a really crazy theory on life. I understand this. I feel that everyone around me is ment to believe that I am crazy or some sort of psychopath. Delusional paranoia is what people may call this. They'd love to lock me up in a straight jacket or put me on some kind of medication I bet. And you know why? Self profit!
The bigger force at hand in our countries doesn't want anything more than wealth... They put people on meds (knowing they won't help by the way) just for profit. Enlarging their companies is the only thing they care about. Money, wealth.. See, the money and the wealth thing I get. It's the lies and the deceit that don't work well with me. Knowingly killing people, now who in their right mind would want to do such a thing? The guilt would tear me apart.
A lot of bad things happen to me, and knowing that there are far worse people out there who live wealthy and have good lives... That just tears me apart. You could say life isn't fair. But do we have to take this fuckin' shit? Why is it that we put up with this bullshit each and every day? All these idiots surrounding you trying to fill your head with nonsense and trying to brainwash your ass into running along with them.
I hope to find these answers some day...
No comments:
Post a Comment